What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women
Beautiful Passages.
This week, allow me share some beautiful passages from James Dobson’s remarkable book, What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women. A little friend of mine read this book and shared a passage that moved me at that time. It addressed the futility of love, or a little more accurately, crushes. I didn’t think much of the book again until so many days later. Reading it, I am realizing it’s the kind of book every man should read because it addresses the ignorance we men insist on holding on to. Most marriages, or relationships, never seem to work because men are unwilling to step up. They seem not to love their wives enough to want to know where they hurt, or where they are being troubled. For them what matters is that they are the head, forgetting that the head certainly needs the neck. It is a reminder to us men to pay attention, to be loving, and to think much of our spouses because they certainly are much than we seem to think. A fulfilling relationship is not just for their advantage, but ours as well.
Let me begin by apologizing right away if by presenting these quotes I will be so much in your face. What we love about something, or anything for that matter is largely a matter of taste, and mood, and experience. Different things interest us, during different occasions, and so many of these quotes may not mean a great thing to you, at least not right now. That’s very okay, and acceptable. For the most part, these are quotes I loved, and I am crossing my fingers that you will love them too. And relate with them. Or most of them. They are quotes that spoke to me or called something to remembrance, and I was moved to highlight them. Some of them don’t mean anything, I just may have noticed that they were a work of genius; I loved their cadence, the thought behind them. I loved how they sounded. Many of them are clearly great sentences, but most mean a lot to me. They don’t have to mean anything to you as you read them now, but if you relate to them, I will be very glad if you let me know. But if you go through life, and experience love along that course, and you remember a sentence, you can always come back and read it again. These sentence may make you think a little more deeply about some certain matters of life, and I really do hope that they will be a blessing to you as you read.
I am not so much for romantic comedies, but I have read one or two. There’s one of Elena Arma’s introduction to her book that has stayed with me since:
To those waiting on love, be patient. Love is a total drama queen. It’s just waiting to make an entrance.
And then there’s the popular verse in the Bible:
Song of Solomon 8:4
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
According to Matthew Henry, that bit of scripture means something else entirely, and a little more profound, but we can stick to the most obvious insinuation, that love should not be sought. At least not until the time is right. So when is the right time?
Notwithstanding, my hope is that these quotes will make you want to get the whole book and read it, just so you have some little more perspective, and you are able to rightly put what is said in context. But even as they stand alone, I hope they will still mean something, something really great and profound.
There’s a lot else that the book addresses, most of the quotes however, are from the section: Loneliness, Isolation, Boredom, and Absence of romantic love in marriage. A mouthful? To make it easier for me to read a book, especially if it’s non-fiction, I get into it, by first reading the parts that look a little interesting, or if they sound more relatable. You now probably know why I started with that section. Alan Jacobs in The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction has taught me that it’s alright to put a book down, because you can always come to it later when you need to, but you don’t have to. That way I at least live in the consciousness that me reading a book is a choice of my own. If you decide to read this book, I hope it will be a choice of your own. Some lessons are universal, and ladies can— or should?— read the book as well. In fact, given some ladies suspect there’s a problem with their relationship or marriage but they don’t seem to know what exactly is wrong, especially in moments when they feel unfulfilled and crestfallen, this book can help them put a name to their troubles. It can encourage you to be a better woman, because men have been won by a woman who knows what she has to do, if only she can be loving, wise, and submissive, even if the man is an imbecile. And many men are.
Enjoy reading, and stay lit!
Here we go:
men derive self-esteem by being respected; women feel worthy when they are loved.
the emotional well-being of a wife is the specific responsibility of her husband
We men have ignored our God-given responsibility to care for the welfare of our families, to discipline our children, to supervise the expenditure of the financial resources, to assume spiritual leadership, to love and to cherish and protect.
When she hurts, he hurts, and takes steps to end the pain. What she wants, he wants, and satisfies her needs.
Where does it begin? By men treating their wives with the same dignity and attention that they give to their own bodies, “loving them even as Christ loved the Church, giving his life for it.”
many young people grow up with a very distorted concept of romantic love.
kiss and munch and cuddle.
They will soon learn to hurt each other more effectively.
love at first sight is a physical and emotional impossibility.
One cannot love an unknown object, regardless of how attractive or sexy or nubile it is!
I love you, they seem to say, as long as I feel attracted to you . . . or as long as someone else doesn’t look better . . . or as long as it is to my advantage to continue the relationship. Sooner or later, this uncommitted love will certainly vaporize.
when in doubt, stall for time
They have now been married for seven years and have struggled for survival since their wedding day!
I do not believe that God performs a routine match-making service for everyone who worships him
He has given us judgment, common sense, and discretionary powers, and he expects us to exercise these abilities in matters matrimonial.
The emotional impact of such a diagnosis on the families involved is sometimes devastating; even in stable, loving marriages, the guilt and disappointment of having produced a “broken” child often drive a wedge of isolation between the distressed mother and father. In a similar manner, the fiber of love can be weakened by financial hardships, disease, business setbacks, or prolonged separation.
love is vulnerable to pain and trauma, and often wobbles when assaulted by life.
Love, even genuine love, is a fragile thing. It must be maintained and protected if it is to survive.
woman is usually comfortable in following masculine leadership if her man is loving, gentle, and worthy of her respect.
Any thoughts?
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Your work is always nothing short of impressive 😁 quite commendable
" Love is a total drama queen. It's just waiting to make an entrance" 😂😂